As the schools had closed indefinitely and employees are encouraged to work from home, *Benjamin and his father have been spending more time with each other. His father had always had high expectations of him, so staying at home twenty-four-seven was considered as the perfect opportunity to boost *Benjamin’s academic performance with hours of revisions.

 

On top of the hours of zoom classes, *Benjamin still has to hold up the extra hours of revision and his father’s high hopes. Without a chance to vent out his emotions with his friends at school, the 10-year-old boy, who was diagnosed with Autism, eventually snapped.

 

*Benjamin’s mother called the police for help after she witnessed the fight. The Hong Kong Social Welfare Department considered the case “high risk”. 

 

Considering temporary separation as the best solution, *Benjamin was put under the Residential Child Care Services for protection. His father was required to attend the Family and Child Protection Service for the family aide services due to his inappropriate education method. 

 

Although numbers show that male account for the majority for being the perpetrators, both males and females can be using force. According to the number of domestic violence reported cases from the Hong Kong Social Welfare Department in 2020, in every 5.5 men using force, there is one woman using force. 

 

“The society always portrayed those abusers as ‘the bad guy’,” said Paul Tong Shui-hing, a social worker at Harmony House who specializes in handling male perpetrators, “but there is a story behind them as well.” 

 

He added although they felt ashamed of their actions, many did not realise their actions were wrong. They have rationalised their action, believing that violence could solve all problems. 

 

Growing up in a helpless environment, from either being abused by their father or witnessing their mother being abused, has traumatised many of the men who now use violence on their spouses or children. 

 

The traditional concept of gender roles and their traumatic past of being abused by their fathers have led them to normalise their own violent actions. 

 

Elaine Woo, Service Supervisor of Harmony House who specialised in consulting women using force, pointed out that usually, the reasons behind why women use force are either responding to their husbands’ violent actions or marriage problems. 

 

The evolution in women’s social status is also one of the contributing factors. Ms Woo explained that since women were no longer treated as the inferior ones in the family, with the expanded social network and ability, some will use a more aggressive approach during the argument. 

 

However, she also pointed out that due to the stigma against people using force, especially towards women, many are not willing to reach out to social workers for help or deny that they have used force on their significant other. 

 

Studies show that there are briefly two forms of domestic violence, situational violence and intimate terrorism. 

 

Since the former only happens when the perpetrators were triggered by stress, and the perpetrators will not act violently, Professor Chan said more communication would help. But for the latter one, it is a long term problem and includes more violent suffering, he said the situation will not alleviate unless social workers are involved. 

 

No matter what their genders are or the reason behind their violent actions, all of them need help from specialised social workers to reshape their behaviours language, values and beliefs associated with domestic violence.

 

Most of the time it would seem like perpetrators are simply trying to stop the dispute or trying to take control. But through consultation, social workers could identify the underlying cause of the violent act. Mr Tong said the root causes may involve other bigger issues, for example, the inculcated concept of patriarchy, and education level indifferences. 

 

“What we do is to first, understand the reason behind their violent actions, then we will slowly guide them to reflect on their actions and let them understand what impact their actions have bought to their partner and children,” he added. 

 

Chan Ko-ling, a social work professor at Polytechnic University who specializes in family violence, urges the government to enforce a law for court mending participation in the Batterer Intervention Programme (BIP), taking the US, Canada and Singapore as examples. 

 

Hong Kong has started the programme in 2018, it is a combination of education and consultation for perpetrators to provide training in anger control and assist them to change their abusive belief. 

 

He thinks that the programme is not effective enough since it is on a voluntary basis, not many abusers have the initiative to take part in the programme. 

 

Upon agreeing that the programme should be compulsory, Mr Tong said “without any consequences, perpetrators will continue to act violently without thinking about their family and in a carefree way”.