Pandemic Nightmare for
Single Mother and her
Special Education Need child
Parents’ jobs are never done. And under the pandemic situation, single parents have an even harder job. They have to juggle being a parent, caregiver, teacher, chef, and employee. Michelle Chui and the rest of the 73,000 single parents in Hong Kong have watched each and every one of their supporting systems slowly vanish into thin air, their income, childcare routines... Almost all of them are now gone. The only thing left is coronavirus itself.
Cherie Mak, program incubator and registered social worker in a grassroots philanthropic organisation, the Chicken Soup Foundation, said that single parents struggle to strike a balance between their job and their children. As schools have begun having online classes, lone parents have to do twice the work with half the assistance.
A survey conducted by Hong Kong Single Parent Association in May has found that around 40% of the 120 respondents’ job was affected by the pandemic, while half of them is because they have to take care of their children at home.
Ms Chui’s key supporting system has always been her daughter’s school. But with schools suspending face-to-face classes indefinitely, her job-seeking mission was also put on hold.
There are 73,428 single parents in Hong Kong as shown in the 2016 Population By-census Thematic Report. Even though there is a slight drop of 2.1% in the number of single parents compared to 2011, the Hong Kong Poverty Situation report in 2018 shows that these families would normally have a higher probability of poverty.
“We are really on a very tight budget, there’s no wiggle room in our budgets for any unplanned expenses,” Ms Chui said while clutching her hands together. “Now, we can’t even afford to have a simple meal at those fast-food restaurants, we also have to control our water and electricity usage to prevent overrun on our budget.”
“Single parents, like other deprived families, faced the situation of loss of job and income, but with single mothers, the most difficult part is they don’t get any child support from anybody,” said Cindy Chow, the Chief Incubator of the Chicken Soup Foundation. “Because kids are not allowed to go to school, [single mothers] are now forced to quit the workplace and stay [at] home with their kids in a confined space.”
Michelle Chui, a single mother of a daughter with Autism, says a lack of childcare service and the suspension of classes stops her from finding a job.
Since they are living in Wong Tai Sin, the city’s most profoundly impacted district during the third wave, Ms Chui and her daughter were stuck at home for weeks.
About 4,000 people contracted the virus between July and September in 2020. Wong Tai Sin has recorded more than 300 cases. The government launched a large-scale free testing scheme to give out 220 specimen collection bottles each day in Wong Tai Sin and Tze Wan Shan. Testing kits ran out in 10 minutes on the first day.
Despite her motto of “be positive”, Ms Chui admitted that both her daughter and herself had experienced an emotional burn-out especially during the third wave in July when everyone was panic buying cleaning supplies, and everywhere ran out of children-sized surgical masks. “With so many confirmed cases nearby our apartment, going out for grocery shopping has already become a problem for us.”
Cramped in a two-room apartment, their only activity of the day was to watch television.
As the television news report rapidly updated with the latest Covid-19 information, Ms Chui and her daughter stared at it in disbelief since most of the cases were only a couple blocks away, or some even in the same block as theirs. They could not believe that a pandemic is actually happening and has changed their life completely.
That was their darkest time during the pandemic. They were depressed and worn out. They could not picture how their future would be.
But Ms Chui’s family is already one of the lucky ones in Hong Kong. The 2016 population by-census report shows that more than 91,800 families are living in subdivided apartment units.
The average living space per person was only 40.7 square feet, which is smaller than a standard prison cell or half the size of a standard parking space, according to the survey conducted by Kwai Chung Subdivided Flat Residents Alliance.
“It’s really boring to stay at home all day, but mum said it is too dangerous outside,” said Jessica while pouching her lips. “All I ever wanted was to go out and take a walk with mum.”
Stephanie Eber, a speech therapist who has been working with disadvantaged children for more than seven years, said “some of the children with disabilities are quite resilient and don't really understand what the current situation is…. [But] they are still mourning the life they used to have, something as simple as going out for a walk or heading to the playground.”
Cindy Chow, the Chief Incubator of the Chicken Soup Foundation, says single mothers have half the assistance but double the workload, so they have to balance out their job and children.
Hong Kong has a growing number of students with Special Education Needs (SEN). As of 2019, a report from Hong Kong Education Bureau shows that there are more than 1,027,100 students with SEN under 18-year-old.
SEN students are those who have learning problems and disabilities that make them harder to catch up with children of the same age, for example, special learning difficulties, hearing impairment, intellectual disability, autism spectrum disorder, special language impairment, visual impairment, attention-deficit/ hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), physical disability and mental illness.
Dr. Stephanie Eber says children with learning problems and disabilities benefits more with moving around during class.
Heep Hong Society, a children education and rehabilitation organisation, has conducted a survey in March 2020 with over 1300 parents with SEN children. The survey found 73% of the respondents said their children begin to have emotional and behavioural problems, of which 16% of them are severe. And that 30% of the respondents said the frequency of their children attempted to attack themselves or others has also increased due to the pandemic.
Society for Community Organization (SOCO) in May 2020 suggested that SEN children’s negative emotions and behaviours have worsened alongside their studies due to their routine being disrupted.
“One time, I missed my Mathematics class because my mum’s phone ran out of battery and I have no internet connection,” said Jessica.
The SOCO survey also shows the two biggest challenges in online studying for SEN students in a financially difficult family are internet problems and difficulties in concentration.
Dr Eber said SEN children benefit more from moving around, it is difficult for them to sit down and watch a screen. Some children on the learning spectrum who cannot speak need an extra iPad for an application to assist them, which is even more difficult for those who have financial difficulties.
Jessica is trying to get her homework done in her room.
Without any leisure time but endless arguments with her daughter, especially about her screen-time, Ms Chui has been stressing out ever since the pandemic started.
The same survey conducted by Heep Hong Society revealed that more than half of the parents with SEN children and 40% of the SEN children have a mental breakdown because of the pandemic. And 80% of the parents who have to solely raise the SEN children have developed depression.
A report from Hong Kong Single Parent Association showed that 96.7% of the respondents’ suffered from serious emotional disturbance due to the pandemic, with 10% of them being severely affected. They claimed that it is mostly because of the spread of the virus and the eerie new normal of virtual classrooms, increasing their pressure on childcare.
“I think it is normal for parents to burn out in such circumstances,” Ms Tsui said. “But for me, things are even worse, since I have to take care of my child, who has special needs, alone!”
Ms Mak said, “single parents are definitely tenser than before, because they can foresee the difficulties that they are about to encounter, and would start to be worried about it.”
Despite their lives having been hung by a thread since the pandemic hits, Ms Chui grasped this opportunity to bond with her daughter. Being stuck in the same room twenty-four-seven allows her to dedicate extra attention and time to her child’s needs.
Ms Chui revealed the key to foster their bonding during the pandemic is to develop multiple stress-relieving activities that could be done together. “When we cannot bear the stress anymore, we will just sing and dance around at home, it really helps!”
Dr. Stephanie Eber demonstrates the iPad applications and tools that help children who struggle with speaking.
Volunteering as a hairdresser for the elderly in the district is also another stress-relieving activity for Ms Chui and her daughter. Even with limited epidemic prevention materials, they still insist on going to volunteer once per month and helping these elderly while following the preventative measurement guidelines.
“My daughter also enjoys being a ‘junior volunteer’ and helping those in need,” said Ms Chui. “Not only has it relieved our stress, we feel so satisfied and accomplished with just a simple ‘thank you’ from them.”
Such volunteer work could also act as a social skills practice for children with disabilities. Dr Eber mentioned that with the lack of practice throughout the whole year, they have to relearn all the skills. “Their regression has become more severe, and they would need more time and effort to resume their previous lifestyle.”
She also suggested parents with SEN children seize this as an opportunity to teach their children more on life skills, for example learning how to cook, instead of doing everything for the kids.
To help out single mothers with their stress problems, apart from providing financial support, the Chicken Soup Foundation has arranged some parenting workshops and child care services for Ms Chui to take off some of the weights and allow her to have some extra “me-time”.
“I think it’s a good thing to take a break and look after themselves,” said Ms Mak. “When [the single mothers] are not okay, how can they provide the best to their child?”
Michelle and her daughter have established a better relationship amidst the pandemic since they spent more time together.
The Chicken Soup Foundation organised a series of destress workshops with meditation, yoga, and art therapy for single mothers. While able to let the single mothers blow off some steam, it also brings them together and builds a mutual support group between them.
The government has launched the anti-epidemic fund in February in response to the need of the public. However, Ms Chui commented that this is not enough, she urged the government to provide more support to single mothers, especially those who have children with special education needs.
She recommended the government provide childcare services and organise activities for the children, especially for the children who need special education. She explained that this could ensure the stability of children’s mental status while lifting off the burdens of single parents.
ParknShop and Welcome, the two largest supermarket tycoons in Hong Kong, offered to provide sweeteners, including cash coupons and food vouchers, for needy families.
Ms Chow encourages the government to push the supermarket and restaurant giants to work as a collaborative approach to help the community, on top of rolling out more subsidies and job opportunities to these special family structures.
“If we don’t do anything now, the poverty gap will get bigger and bigger,” said Ms Chow. “Until then, it will be even more difficult to recover than before the pandemic.”
Cherie Mak, a program incubator and registered social worker in the Chicken Soup Foundation, said says single mothers are exhausted and lack of “me-time”.
But things for Ms Chui are much harder. She has to solely raise a 9-year-old daughter, Jessica, who was diagnosed as being on the autism spectrum since she was little. They have nothing but each other. All their unadorned lifestyle could rely on was her $4,000 monthly salary as a part-time hairdresser and make-up artist. But it has disappeared because of the pandemic.
Throughout the year, the jobless rate has surged from 3.4% in January 2020 to 7.2% in February 2021, hitting its record high in these 15 years, according to the Hong Kong Census and Statistics Department.
“As a single mother, it’s more difficult for me to get a job. Honestly, I can’t see myself having a bright future in my career and I am very concerned about it,” said Ms Chui.